Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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