I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
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I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
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This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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