Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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