Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
