I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
