when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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