mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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