i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Enjoy the penises
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
