her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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