I smell stomach acid.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
