then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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