I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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