He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize