I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
