Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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