if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
