Sry I called you an 8
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
