You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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