Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
