You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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