But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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