it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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