dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
