Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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