Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he fucked my hip out of place.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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