i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
