He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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