But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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