so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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