Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
