I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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