Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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