so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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