Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i love accidental penises.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize