I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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