that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
