I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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