I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
well you can't waste a boner
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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