my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
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SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
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I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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