this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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