her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
