clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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