she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
