D3 body, D1 cock
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
it was like eating out sand paper
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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