So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
