He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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