You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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