He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
