am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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