I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
