How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
