How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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