But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
