are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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