I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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