thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
