Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
