The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
