god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
