all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
